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  Dear Lover, The waves pushing us down, the infinite ocean drowning us. I fight them, do you? Help me, I'm drowning. Help us, we are drowning. Is it only me? Is this an illusion of us? Or are you not part of us? I cannot do this one on my own, you're with me yet you're not. The grip of your hand is getting lighter, are you fading away? I reach for you, nothingness. Why are we falling apart? So many questions, do you even hear me? It hurts, the waves, they bruise my wrists. The scars are opening again, the one you promised you would stitch. Our calm ocean is a red storm that screams with emotion. I reach for you, coldness. The toxic water reaches our lungs, but why am I the only one choking? Who are you? Where is my lover? You promised. You lied, didn't you? What did I expect? Please let me go. If you won't save us, let me save myself. I reach for you, traitor. Goodbye, I love you

I dreamt of you last night. I dreamt of us. Hesitant, you steered closer. It felt like even out there, where my imagination was the only limit, we knew we could not be together. Yet, we sought each other: these invisible strings were there too, pulling us towards each other. Your hand found mine and it was just like I remembered. Soft. Fitting. I placed my palm against your cheek, and your beard tingled against my skin. Your thumb found its way to my face, tracing the outline of my lips. We did not kiss. Even in this fantasy, I knew that some barriers could not be crossed. So we stayed there, under the stars, drowning in each other. And then, I woke up, sobbing. No one would have known it was a dream, everything felt real. The only difference was that, in my hallucinations, you cared. A dream is a wish your heart makes.

Would you step back if I kissed you? If I came by tomorrow and pressed my lips against yours, be it for a second? Would you hate me? Would you kiss me back? What about the aftermath? Am I willing to put it all at risk for a simple kiss? I don't know if I should kiss you. It feels like my entire body is hypnotized. You make me feel like mush. I wonder if you notice me? How I can't breathe? The beating of my heart? Can't you see what you do to me? I want to kiss you.  I don't even want to kiss you anymore. I have to. All my cells, all my nerves, all the damn universe; they are screaming, yelling at me to do it. I waited for too long. It feels like if I don't I'll explode. I don't know if you feel it too, and honestly it's fine if you don't, I can take it. I have to kiss you. But I don't think I can take never kissing you and spending the rest of my life wondering how it would have felt. Because I know I will

A heart's a heavy burden. Love's sorrow. I tear down my thoughts, one by one. My heart aches. Tears roll down my cheeks, unstoppable. "It's bad luck to cry on your birthday." An ocean: vast, scary, mysterious, unknown. My mind: vast, scary, mysterious, unknown. Space: dark, empty, cold; a void. My heart:dark, empty, cold; a void. A black hole: me. The voice in my head keeps on repeating it, over and over again, like a broken record. I don't deserve happiness. I'm toxic. I'm sorry for being like I am, I'm sorry for loving too hard, for crying too much, for hurting too much. A mess. A heart's a heavy burden.

Creature of the night. I can feel you every other night, lurking around in the shadows. I'm not asleep, you know i'm not. I know you can feel what I feel. Is that why you're only here when i'm down? Why are you here, when I fight my thoughts, when my fingers trace the sharp side of the blade? When I can barely breathe and my vision is too blurry? Why are you, scary creature of the night, the who soothes me? Your back hunched, you peer over my bed. I never open my eyes, but I can hear the sound of the fan changing as you stand in front of it. But creature of the dark, I can feel your pain too. The millions souls in my head, do you hear them too? Do you fall down in agony when you cannot distinguish fiction from reality? My scars, do you have them too? You are not my guardian angel, they are too pure. I feel evil in you, just like you do in me. But i feel goodness in you, just like you do in me. Who are you? Creature of the night, you who lurk aroun

Ma rose.  Si fragile et pourtant si féroce. Je ne crois qu'il n'y ait un nom qui t'irait aussi bien. Tu te tiens en avant, forte, puissante. Nul ne peut te vaincre. Je te vois, ma rose, insensible, impassable, un mur de fer autour de ton coeur.  Mais ma rose, quand personne ne regarde, je te vois, courbée, presque qu'à genoux, tremblante. Ta façade tombée, tu te tiens, vulnérable. Nul ne sait que tu souffres. Mais, moi, je te vois.  Je sais, je t'entends crier, et je te promets, ma rose, que je suis là, je te protège et je t'aime.