The best that I can be
Tonight my mother asked me, "Are you happy in this family?" . "No, " I replied, almost instantly. I lifted my head, and she stared, and I could see her. I saw the little girl who was bullied by her own parents, I saw the little girl whose mother did not love her. I saw the woman with the abusive alcoholic husband, the woman with no luck. " I did my best," she said. I knew she did. I walked away. I always ruined everything, always hurt everyone. Then she came, "Why are you so depressed?" I did not answer. She held my hand, told me I should not give up on life, that I should prove everyone wrong for all the wrong she went through. My blood boiled. I walked away. I am so selfish. I looked at myself in the mirror. The burnt-out golden child, the abused daughter, the burden, the scapegoat, the cattle. I am not a person. I am only what I can give. I am not me. I can never see her sacrifice, only mine. I can only see the girl with no childhood, the girl...